You Know What They Say When You Assume…

When I become a mother, I’m going to make sure to emphasize to my child that being a kid will be the easiest thing they’ll ever have to do in their life. Not in a naggy, “You don’t appreciate anything” kind of way, but in a “Dude, appreciate naps now because in college you’ll literally daydream about taking a nap” way.

Kids have it so easy! They get to nap, watch tv and play all day, homework is easy and they never have to budget or worry about their taxes. As kids though, we also run into a lot of awkward moments that will scar us for the rest of our lives – especially when we’re trying to go to sleep and our brains seem to think this is the best time to bring an awkward moment up.

Here's elementary school Pam modeling her newest shoes, featuring Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She was my favorite "Disney Princess" - my mom never told me she wasn't an actual DP.

Here’s elementary school Pam modeling her newest shoes, featuring Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She was my favorite “Disney Princess” – my mom never corrected this.

One of my favorite memories from being a kid is when I tried acting like I had my life together and the universe gave me a big, NOPE. We’ve all done it. We’ve tried to act like badasses before realizing, to our embarrassment, we were dead wrong.

One morning while I was in the fourth grade, I remember getting off a bus and running to the playground to show my best friend my new Esmeralda sneakers I’d gotten for my birthday.
I spotted my friend’s long brown hair across the field and immediately took off at full speed to greet her. Once I reached her, I playfully poked her in the back (something we always did) to let her know I had arrived. The brown hair swooped around and to my horror the face staring back at me was not my best friend.

This random girl stared at me – making the world slow down to the most painfully awkward seconds of my entire life. I was literally paralyzed in fear as I stared at this stranger. After about two more seconds, I turned around and ran across the blacktop straight into the hall of my homeroom.

Sometimes I can still hear the squeak of my sneakers running down the hall when I drive by elementary schools. *shivers*

Good thing is I made this mistake back in elementary school, not over social media like someone else I know.Screen Shot 2015-06-26 at 12.13.03 AM(Don’t worry Kim… I too thought it was Georgio…)

Being a kid is all about learning how to deal with situations like this when you’re thrown out into society as an adult. Thankfully, this experience has made me become more aware of who I’m going to greet before I approach them. I’ll definitely make sure to let my future children know that they need to take all this into consideration before they go around poking random children.

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