As I sit here, just turning 24, I ponder back on the life that I pictured just a little over a year ago. I was 23, a couple months out of college, eagerly awaiting the drive back to the Midwest. I was about to embark on a journey, that in my mind, was that of a fairytale.
Let me tell you, I was sadly mistaken. Do not get me wrong, I am very blessed with the cards that have been dealt to me. For the past year I barely (well less than college) asked my parents for help, managed to make a name for myself in a well known retail company, and successfully for the first time in my life, am not living paycheck to paycheck. How is that not the life I had imagined? How is this not a fairytale?
Please let me explain….
After you leave college you are wide eyed and eager for the next best thing. You are hopeful for the opportunity to get the job you’ve daydreamed about in your college lectures. It can be a rude awakening when you leave the bubble that is college life, and reality slaps you like a bitter cold. Life will test you beyond your limits; you will be thrown curve balls that you never thought could potentially give you that home run.
A year ago, I was the girl running around telling everyone I got the internship of my dreams!
“Hey everybody! I’m moving to Indiana to work for the best company EVER! I cannot wait for this new adventure!”
The anticipation to kickstart my career was overflowing and nothing could bring me down.
Except for the fact that I was 23, moving into a dorm, in the smallest town I had ever lived in. Oh did I mention I knew no one? And the closest place to call home was 3 ½ hours away?
But, hey! I love new adventures! I couldn’t wait to make new friends and start the next chapter in Ale’s life story. I just kept being hopeful. That I would become close to people like I did in all the other places I’ve lived, that I would get the job of my dreams, that life would meet my expectations!
Except when that didn’t happen…
I chose to run.
Run back to my hometown every weekend for the entire summer. I was not making friends like I had in the past so I pushed the idea that this town would ever give me the fulfillment that I needed.
“It’s not Austin or Chicago, I miss shows and my friends. Take me back.”
That statement was a constant loop in my head for so long. After people tried to make an effort with me. After I was, literally, given a job.
So I spent a week in Texas, so incredibly happy and high off life that I was dreading coming back to a place that did not feel like home. In my mind I had no friends to come home to, my job was not making sense to me, and I felt that this new chapter was not in my fairytale story.
I was at a low. Negative and angry.
I realized I was giving up. I was not making an effort. I was this bitter person who was mad that life was not panning out the way I had expected.
I woke up one day with the sun shining and came to the realization that I was taking life for granted. I opened up my drawer and saw my beanie from the lovely, Charla Vail, and it read Positive Vibes —I knew in that moment that I was not a positive person at all. I was not provoking positivity on the people around me, so how the hell was I supposed to expect the same?
And I snapped out of it.
I made an effort to stay here on the weekends. I became friends with the people who were trying to for the past 6 months, I fell in love with my new, unexpected career path, and realized this “fairytale” I had in my mind was right in front of me the entire time. I removed my blinders and finally saw the blessings in my life.
The universe and life works in very mysterious ways. It will never be something I truly understand, nor would I ever want to. I’ve learned to take it by the balls and run with what is given to you. You will have to fight and go through trials to get the most out of life. And that’s okay! Just because things did not work out as you hoped, does not mean it’s a failure. Or that it is not something to be proud or excited about.
I believe everything happens for a reason, that there is a time and a place for everything in life. Take this season, that you are in, and live it! Nothing can bring you down.
Stay cool kids,